Watashi no Tabisaki
by NamelessStar
Summary: Roy is remembering one memory he wish to forget. One nightmare that still haunts him to this day. It was the War of Ishbal. It was when he was ordered to kill two innocent lives.I suck at summaries, but please, do read. It's my first fanfic.


Title: Watashi no Tabisaki

Summary: Roy is having a flashback of a memory he doesn't want to remember. It is the nightmare that haunts him to this very day. It is the time during the Ishbal War, where he was ordered to kill a couple.

Disclaimer: For a sad reason, I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, or Roy Mustang. If I did, I would've been one rich person. But, I do own this fanfic.

Notes: This is Beta'ed by my friend, Cerul the White Paragon. So after reading this fic, you can go and see hers! Only thing is, that she has only one fic right now, like me XD This was written for this 'essay' our English teacher told us to do. It had to start of with the sentence: _It was my last chance…_ So naturally, Roy came into my mind. And this is just my way of putting how Roy thinks about the war and what he had done. It's kinda short though.ENJOY!

It was my last chance to climb up the ranks of the military and become Fuhrer. Becoming one would be hard to achieve as one obstacle is currently in my way: the current Fuhrer in charge, King Bradley. Though he is not a bad man, some changes to the way he ruled could still be changed - and I intend to change it.

The reason I want to become the Fuhrer is that I wish to atone for my sins. Back when I was a young lieutenant, during the war between Ishbal and the military, I was ordered by my superiors to shoot a a married couple, who were both doctors. I couldn't refuse - an order was an order. It had to be proceeded with. That night, two more innocent lives were taken away by my own two hands. When the couple was shot, they held onto each other, saying nothing, not even a struggle. As they lay dead, the man was clutching a small photo of a young blonde girl, who I assumed was their daughter.

After that I couldn't think straight. Both had been only trying to save lives, helping others and tending to their injuries. While I, I had been taking the lives they tried so hard to save. Why is it that they should be dead? I continued to question myself...I have slayed innocent people. I should be the one lying cold on the ground, with life's blood pouring out of bullet wounds. With my mind made up, I took the same gun I had used on the doctors out of its holster, and pressed it to the delicate area of skin around my neck - just underneath my chin. The cold, harsh and unforgiving metal of the barrel sliced through my mind like sword through flesh, and I was fully prepared to take my own life, right then and there. But before I could even pull the trigger, the door burst open and a tired-looking man of about 50 years of age came in, still panting from the exertion of running here.

He calmed me down and told me that it wasn't my fault that they were dead. I was only following orders, and there was nothing I could have done to spare their lives. I stared at him in disbelief, especially when he joked that if they came back as ghosts, they would haunt the superior who declared the order instead of me. I dropped the gun and just...broke down. In front of a man I barely knew. He left me in the room with the cold bodies of the doctors with his few words of wisdom replaying in my head. I later found out that the man was a doctor himself - a State Alchemist, even. He was Doctor Marcoh, the Crystal Alchemist. What really surprised me was when I returned from the battlefield to Headquarters a few months later was his file - the pristine white pages had been tarnished with a stamp of the deepest red - AWOL.

I wish to become the Fuhrer so I could stop the ongoing wars around Amestris. I would make the world a better place for all her people to live in. That's why I joined the military. You would actually think that I enjoy being one of the many dogs of the military? I wanted to make a change. I wanted to make a difference. My best friend, Maes Hughes, said he would help me achieve my goal. He is now dead, because of his work in the Investigations Department – he found out more than he should have, and was ruthlessly murdered by a group called the Homunculi. He said he would help...but now he is gone. I find it hard to carry on after his death. He was one of the people who supported me in the terrible Rebellion.

After Hughes's death, I truly believed I was on my own. But my subordinates never stopped supporting me - being there when I needed them - being my friends. Even Fullmetal. Many other military officers think that I merely use them as stepping stones to achieve my goal. That is not true. I will still make my dream come true, and be the next Fuhrer and honour all those around me who had helped and supported me all the way.

A/N: This is my first time on and it took me so long to realise how to upload this. Be nice please! Reviews with criticism are welcomed with open arms. I need to know what I need to work on. But just plain reviews would do. XD


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